In college, I had an old crotchety professor named Dr. Shanks who often liked to sermonize on the evils of Christianity and absolute truth. Whenever he did he always seemed to have a sparkle in his eye and a smirk on his face. He also seemed to turn that smirk my way while he talked.

One day he boldly proclaimed, "There are no absolutes! Everything is relative."

At that point I raised my hand (I think there was a gleam in my eye and a smirk on my face). I asked, "Are you sure that's true?" He said, "Yes, it is." I then asked, "Are you absolutely sure?" He smiled and confidently said, "Of course." "If this is absolutely true," I added, "then there must be absolutes, therefore, I question your entire hypothesis."

At this point he was done with the conversation and proceeded to belittle Christian's narrow-minded bigoted worldview until class ended.

One of the primary obstacles faced in reaching out to urban postmodern people is a relativistic view of truth. This is the view that truth is fluid and not firm-that it is not absolute but varies according to each person. What is true for one may not be true for another.

Answering Relativism

Answering the relativistic philosophy is fairly simple. In fact it has become almost cliche. Here are a few examples.

One point that often helps when talking about relativism is to mention that the defense the Nazis used when under trial for war crimes in Nuremburg was that they were only following orders when they slaughtered 6 million Jews. They argued that they broke no laws and were fully cooperating with the legal system of their nation. They then asked what right others had to impose their own laws on them. The court had to appeal to a "higher law," a law that is above all the nations. If there are no absolutes than there is no higher law and we cannot say with conviction that Hitler and the Nazis were wrong in what they did.

Usually, the relativist will argue something about the common good being the moral guideline. In other words, they argue that if the majority shares the same values than those values have the weight of a society and are now considered right. This argument falls apart quickly. Just because the overwhelming majority of the world believed at one point that the earth was flat, doesn't make it so. Are we ready to say that the crusades were righteous because they had the support of the majority?

The truth is no one really lives void of absolutes. You can't just decide that gravity isn't true for you and start floating away. Try going to the local convenience store and buy a five dollar item with only one dollar. When they tell you it isn't enough tell them, "What's five for you is one for me." See how well this relativistic philosophy really works. Challenge someone to stand in front of an oncoming train and believe that it is merely a goose down pillow and see if they really believe truth is relative.

A Better Evangelistic Posture

While it is very easy to argue against relativism with logic I find that immediately jumping into an argument to prove that a person is wrong is not the most fruitful method of evangelism. Duh! None of us like to be shown how stupid we are. Who likes to lose an argument? Do we really think that the best way to convince someone of our point of view is to set them off in the position of an antagonist? Can arguing against us really be the best way to join us?

It is true in any evangelistic work that at some point there will be a confrontation with the truth, but it is more effective to have won the respect and admiration of the person before that. If the lost person sees the confrontation as coming from God rather than from the evangelist it will be far more effective. Once they recognize your real concern for them as a person, they will weigh your words more heavily. Usually, we are too quick to jump into a debate that isn't close to the heart of the one we are sharing with. I know many people who are great at winning arguments but not at winning souls.

When dealing with this relativistic perspective, it is a good idea to not immediately expose the foolish assumptions people have but rather to affirm the noble values behind them. I realize that the main reason so many want to adhere to relativism is because they are very relational and do not want to exclude others in any way. This means that they must embrace all points of view so as not to exclude any. This is actually a noble value, just misguided. I like to emphasize the acceptance of Jesus for any and all who would turn to Him. He accepts me just as I am. The message that Jesus loves all sinners and died for everyone is powerful today. This goes more to the core value of why someone would be inclined to accept relativism.

Of course another common reason for rejecting truth as absolute is in order to justify one's own immoral lifestyle. In that case I may actually prod their shaky foundation with some direct questions. Exposing their real motives with simple and well meaning questions is probably the best approach at that point. It is far better than assuming motives and then attacking. If they can recognize that they are being confronted by the true reality of their own heart issues rather than your opinion and judgment they will probably respond better. You may find better opportunities to follow up later if this is the case.

A second helpful idea is to see truth as much more than merely a propositional fact. Jesus said, "I am the way, the TRUTH and the life." Truth is not just a proposition, it is a person. Most people today are open to relationships with others and so I like to introduce the person of Jesus first and let Him shed light when He is invited in. Once they begin an authentic relationship with Jesus, they will surrender to Him with the same loyalty they would to any true friend. Jesus is far better at persuading a heart from the inside-out than I am from the outside-in.

I once heard Dallas Willard say, "You don't have to be right to be saved." The truth is you begin the journey of learning what is right when you start to follow Christ. This allows for an ongoing process of evangelism and sanctification that is not dependent on having the right answers all the time. I allow for people to be in the learning process rather than cut them down for not knowing what I know (or think I know). In fact, I am still in the process of learning. Ideally, we all continue to learn until there is a flat line on the monitor next to our hospital bed. That's when we graduate. Aren't you glad that you were not forced to stay at the same level of understanding you had when you first believed? We should be generous with people in process, especially if they aren't even regenerate yet!

We often fall under the misguided assumption that the way to be saved is to merely know and believe the right things. In that case, evangelism boils down to merely philosophical rhetoric in an attempt to persuade people to know what I know. Our evangelism would be much more effective if we didn't think we had to get everyone to believe what we do about creation/evolution, abortion, homosexuality, and the economy. Sometimes I think Christians believe that we've got to get people to dress nicely, get a haircut, attend a conservative church and vote republican before we can call them a real Christian? How foolish is that?

We are not in the business of behavior modification. The Gospel is about transformation. Being right doesn't make you righteous. Transformation is a process, it occurs from the inside-out. It is not just cognitive, but spiritual, moral and emotional. It is holistic. Transformation without Christ isn't. We need to let Christ do the internal work. Our task is to open the eyes of people to the wonders of our Savior. Actually, our job is much easier than trying to change them from the outside-in, it is easier because it is a work that only God can do (1 Cor. 3:6-7).

The real issue in evangelism-the one the enemy wants you to avoid most-is discussing who Jesus really is and how this affects all of us. Let the other debates fall by the wayside as unimportant. The expansion of the kingdom is more about introducing people to the reign of the King than in getting them to agree with all our ideas about life, politics and religion.

The Better Evangelism Skills

There are many manufactured evangelism methods. Having only one canned approach is less effective and sometimes even fouls up the process of presenting the kingdom of God. The best training teaches people how to listen and adapt to the person and context to which they are witnessing. The more personal the conversation, the better chance you have of touching a life.

When training others to share their faith in Jesus many teach what to say. I think this is a mistake because the best evangelism approach is less about saying what you know and more about listening to what others say. The two best skills in evangelism are to listen to others with compassion and to ask probing and sincere questions.

I have also learned to let many statements uttered by the unbeliever roll right off my back. For instance, "I don't believe in God," is a common response. At that moment I have choice: I can spend the next 40 minutes arguing the existence of God, or I can assume the Scriptures are true and that this person actually does believe deep down saving 40 minutes of fruitless arguing. The old adage is true that says, "There are no atheists in fox holes." The Bible informs us that deep in the soul of all people is a knowledge of the creator (Rom. 1:18-21). This can be a powerful ally in evangelism-use it! Put more stock in the Bible's statements than the unbeliever's. The truth is that most unbelievers haven't really decided on what they believe. For most it is a spur of the moment statement you hear rather than a carefully thought out answer. If you're a good listener the unbeliever will start to share what they believe. Often it will be the first time they've really heard their own philosophy of life, and it won't make sense even to them.

In the book Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry and Mary, Lee Strobel makes the following helpful observations:

One of the most effective evangelistic approaches I've learned is to ask Harry (the unbeliever) to describe what he believes about God, and then let him talk. And talk. And talk. I listen with interest, I request details, I urge him to go deeper, and I ask him to define the words he's using.

You see, sometimes he has never verbalized with any depth what he believes, and as he describes his views of God and life, they begin to sound flimsy and cliche-ridden even to him. He may realize for the first time that he doesn't know as much as he thought.

I teach people to listen for three things when talking with an unbeliever: pains, passions and purposes. These are the deeper parts of a person's soul and will probably not come out early in the course of a conversation. We don't entrust these things to just anyone. We want to make sure we can trust a person before we share what really makes us tick. Strobel points out that often people will first share something they don't believe strongly in to see if they can trust someone with the deeper, more vulnerable stuff. If we play the antagonist immediately they will never move on to a deeper heart issue and evangelism will remain at a surface level.

Let me give you an example to illustrate this from our ministry. John was a self-proclaimed Satanist. He is also one of the most intelligent men I have met. He reads almost a book a day and can quote ancient Greek poets off the top of his head. We met John by building relationships with people at a local coffeehouse called Portfolios.

One evening we had a visitor at Awakening Chapel who is an expert at using apologetics in evangelism. This particular man had taught me much and I was excited to have him with us. After experiencing an Awakening Chapel time of worship he commented, "Oh, I see if you lower the lights and use candles and incense you can reach postmoderns." I must admit I was a little disappointed; Awakening is so much more than that. I decided that the best way for him to see the heart of this new church was to take him to Portfolios to see where we do much of our relational evangelism.

At Portfolios, my friend ran into John the Satanist (not to be confused with John the Baptist). In the course of their conversation John made some comment about what a good man and teacher Jesus was. This started my missionary friend on a logical message about how based on Jesus' own words He is either the Lord or He is a liar or He is a lunatic...but He can't logically be just a good man or teacher. The talented evangelist got as far as the first point and John then jumped in and finished the rest of the argument. Then he commented that he had read all of C. S. Lewis' works and that Lewis was one of his favorite authors. Then John turned and walked away untouched by the attempts of the evangelist.

About a week later, John came to Awakening. During a break in the service he went outside with some of our newer converts to smoke a cigarette and chat. I noticed John was talking with a young girl name Michelle whom had just recently come to Christ herself. Remembering how easily John dispatched the veteran evangelist, I was very concerned for her. A guy like John could really confuse a new believer like Michelle. Later I pulled her aside to see how she was doing. I asked, "I noticed you were talking with John. He's a handful. Are you okay?" She said, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. He just kept talking and talking and I kept listening and listening. Finally at one point he stopped to take a breath and I jumped in and said, ‘John, you're too smart for me. I can't keep up with you.'" Then she paused and added, "‘but I sense that you're lonely. I was lonely too. For many years I would go to bed at night and wonder if anyone in the whole universe cared if I would wake up the next day. Then I met Jesus and I don't go to bed lonely anymore. I know that Jesus loves me and He cares about what is going on in my life.'"

For the first time in his life, John was silent. Michelle had struck right to the heart of John's soul. This wasn't a peripheral discussion about theoretic facts. This was his life, his need, his core identity.

It isn't what you know that is going to touch the hearts of this emerging generation...it's who you know. If you are willing to listen and share personally with people the difference Christ has made in your life you can be effective in reaching the lost. We need to introduce the postmodern to truth incarnate rather than a defense of propositional facts.

A short time later I was having a conversation with John. He casually mentioned to me that he was thinking of changing his religion. I thought to myself, "Any change is a step in the right direction." I asked, "Oh, what are you thinking of changing it to?" He said, "I'm either going to become a Christian or a Buddhist." At that point I had a choice, I could ask him why on earth he would want to be a Buddhist and then he could defend Buddhism for the next hour, or, I could ask him why on earth he'd want to be a Christian and let him defend Jesus to me. I chose the latter. This time, my instincts proved wise. He said, "The thing that attracts me to Christianity more than any other religion is the concept of grace. No other religion has this. The fact that we can receive God's blessings without having to do anything is amazing to me." Then he went on to describe the cross and how Jesus died even though we are all sinners and John's eyes watered up. He preached the gospel to himself that day-and if he'd given an altar call I'd have gone forward myself! John didn't receive Jesus that afternoon, but I believe he is on the way, he is in the process. It is the kindness of people that has made the difference. More than that, it is the kindness of God that will lead him to repentance, not our own intelligent arguments.

Paul wrote to the Colossians: "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak. Conduct yourself with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how to answer everyone."

Of course, each person is different and there is not one absolute method that will work for everyone. What works for one may not work for another. Perhaps there is even a little truth in what old Shanks had to say. Absolutely!

© 2003 Neil Cole

See also the article on Postmodern Opportunities

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